We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
