i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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