Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
