Hey man sorry I got all grabby
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
