If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
this will be a night to untag.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
