How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
