yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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