It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
