Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
