Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
