In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
