It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
