thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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