Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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