he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
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