i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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