grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
