You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
