Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
