So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
