o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
