i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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