I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize