doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
