I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
