you guys were way drunker than both of me
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
