Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
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