? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
