at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
