Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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