Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
a search helicopter?!
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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