You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize