I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
