I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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