Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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