Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
