Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
