I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
