i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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