Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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