he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
