We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
