I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
