Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Sorry about my life...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize