I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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