He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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