I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
