well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
