the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
