I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
