Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she pinky promised me she was 18
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
