if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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