I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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