There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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