Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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