NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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