Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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