I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
