The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
