Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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