Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
