He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
