dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
