I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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